Post by Talalay on Apr 11, 2008 14:52:49 GMT -5
PLEASE NOTE – I have a lot of respect for IAAP, Jude, Mike, 65if, and many others on this board, I have written this because I desperately want to make you all smile in what’s been a bit of a negative time on these boards.
THE SECRET DIARY OF IAMAPHONEY (aged 37 ¾ Years)
Tuesday 8th April
9.07am
I’m so tired and not sleeping so good. That damn Blackbird singing in dead of night is kept me awake. Mother asking what I would be liking for breakfast and so I am telling her to be cooking me precisely what ‘Yesterday once was’ Hehe, I like that very clever… I could be telling by look on her face she was most impressed.
9.17am
I say ‘Please Mr. Postman, is there a letter in your bag for me?’ and he say ‘Something’ – I am shaking with much excitement as I am seeing Apple have finally been replying!
It reading… ‘Dear Mr. Phoney, Very much thanking you for code break, we all absolutely no idea what you talking about so here is pretty picture of Beatles instead.’
Much outrage to be addressing me in rude manner! Aren’t they knowing it’s Mr. IAMAPhoney? Silly people not to be understanding code I so brilliantly crack, I will be sure to be writing clever reply once I remember what code actually is.
9.53am
Wishing Mother would be hurrying up and decipher my most ingenious rune already, I am starving!
11.17am
Still no breakfast, so I pour a bowl of Rice Krispies and shocked by the ‘snapcracklepop’ noise they are making. It must be hidden message put there by Professor Kellogs, I phone up band so we can be recording ‘snapcracklepop’ and playing it backwards.
1.18pm
Band finally turning up, they all drinking too much The night before and now Rice Krispies are flat and ‘snapcracklepopping’ no more. Those guys so very useless!
1.45pm
Almost collapsing from hunger so I phoning for pizza topping with semolina pilchard. Only to be wishing I could be seeing look on girls face when I am instructing they must been climbing up Eiffel Tower. She is silence for most long time. As British would be saying ‘I am thinking I am in there!’
3.47pm
Get back from shopping, as usual I am walking around supermarket in cool shades and bare feet, I am never getting tired of look of awe on peoples faces when I am doing that.
5.47pm
My dear Martha is being most sick everywhere, perhaps not a good idea to let her be sharing my pizza. I drive her to vet in my cool car, it was Long and winding road.
7.14pm
Band meeting! After Kellogs fiasco I tell guys they are to be pulling their fingers out and then they are complaining about always doing songs backwards and that I don’t ever be listening to them, or something like that, I not really paying attention.
8.56pm
Onto my beloved ‘YouTube’ and plenty of people talking about me, then I am seeing some video by RockXLight is like tribute! And not being before time!
8.59pm
I am not liking because RockXLight has bigger apple than me! Also his video is being most direct and straight to point which is something I am not understanding much about… very strange!
9.54pm
Throw dart at map, tomorrow I go to West Indies. Good night!
**
Wednesday 9th April
6.54am
Drive my car to airport as I am remembering I must have been forgetting to be remembering to be forgetting something.
2.07pm
A long, long, long flight but I am in West Indies, Sun, sun sun here I come!
2.09pm
Oh shoot I am forgetting to be picking up My Dear Martha from Vet.
11.09pm
Back home and Vet most unhappy to be woken up – I am thinking Martha was very much more happy to be seeing me.
**
Wednesday 9th April
2.07am
Martha sick all over bed. I am most disturbed as I am noticing something not right about her.
2.19am
Phone up damn Vet but No reply.
3.33am
Vet most unhappy at me knocking on his door and he is shouting many nswear words… I am explaining I got a feeling Martha is not same cat, she has a fake whiskers! Vet threatening to be shooting me next time he is seeing me.
This is reminding me of exactly what Paul McCartney is saying to me last time I am shoving camera in his face so yes a link is most established! I will be exposing Vet in my next video!
5.17am
Martha… correction… Fartha… is most sick again.
12.12pm
Back in West Indies. No sign of McCartney and his new hot tottie. He is Nowhere man!
2.53pm
Where are you McCartney? If I am having to be Here, there and everywhere chasing you across the universe, I am not resting until I’ll get you!
4.06pm
Not very happy to be thinking when I get home without new filming of McCartney shouting at me, but I am flying because I am only needing 3,000 more air miles to be claiming my free cool cats!
8.13pm
Message from Mike, ‘We are all looking forward to the interview tomorrow’
He is a good boy is Mike… I wish I could be remembering whether he is supposed to be interviewing me or I am supposed to be interviewing him.
I am replying ‘You won’t see me’ only… hehe… I reply in Braille! I am very smart like that!
9.12pm
At the airport and again I am thinking I am forgetting something…
11.09pm
Oh shoot! I left my luggage behind some bush in Santa Susana pass… I am hoping nobody has taken it!
**
THE SECRET DIARY OF IAMAPHONEY (aged 37 ¾ Years)
Tuesday 8th April
9.07am
I’m so tired and not sleeping so good. That damn Blackbird singing in dead of night is kept me awake. Mother asking what I would be liking for breakfast and so I am telling her to be cooking me precisely what ‘Yesterday once was’ Hehe, I like that very clever… I could be telling by look on her face she was most impressed.
9.17am
I say ‘Please Mr. Postman, is there a letter in your bag for me?’ and he say ‘Something’ – I am shaking with much excitement as I am seeing Apple have finally been replying!
It reading… ‘Dear Mr. Phoney, Very much thanking you for code break, we all absolutely no idea what you talking about so here is pretty picture of Beatles instead.’
Much outrage to be addressing me in rude manner! Aren’t they knowing it’s Mr. IAMAPhoney? Silly people not to be understanding code I so brilliantly crack, I will be sure to be writing clever reply once I remember what code actually is.
9.53am
Wishing Mother would be hurrying up and decipher my most ingenious rune already, I am starving!
11.17am
Still no breakfast, so I pour a bowl of Rice Krispies and shocked by the ‘snapcracklepop’ noise they are making. It must be hidden message put there by Professor Kellogs, I phone up band so we can be recording ‘snapcracklepop’ and playing it backwards.
1.18pm
Band finally turning up, they all drinking too much The night before and now Rice Krispies are flat and ‘snapcracklepopping’ no more. Those guys so very useless!
1.45pm
Almost collapsing from hunger so I phoning for pizza topping with semolina pilchard. Only to be wishing I could be seeing look on girls face when I am instructing they must been climbing up Eiffel Tower. She is silence for most long time. As British would be saying ‘I am thinking I am in there!’
3.47pm
Get back from shopping, as usual I am walking around supermarket in cool shades and bare feet, I am never getting tired of look of awe on peoples faces when I am doing that.
5.47pm
My dear Martha is being most sick everywhere, perhaps not a good idea to let her be sharing my pizza. I drive her to vet in my cool car, it was Long and winding road.
7.14pm
Band meeting! After Kellogs fiasco I tell guys they are to be pulling their fingers out and then they are complaining about always doing songs backwards and that I don’t ever be listening to them, or something like that, I not really paying attention.
8.56pm
Onto my beloved ‘YouTube’ and plenty of people talking about me, then I am seeing some video by RockXLight is like tribute! And not being before time!
8.59pm
I am not liking because RockXLight has bigger apple than me! Also his video is being most direct and straight to point which is something I am not understanding much about… very strange!
9.54pm
Throw dart at map, tomorrow I go to West Indies. Good night!
**
Wednesday 9th April
6.54am
Drive my car to airport as I am remembering I must have been forgetting to be remembering to be forgetting something.
2.07pm
A long, long, long flight but I am in West Indies, Sun, sun sun here I come!
2.09pm
Oh shoot I am forgetting to be picking up My Dear Martha from Vet.
11.09pm
Back home and Vet most unhappy to be woken up – I am thinking Martha was very much more happy to be seeing me.
**
Wednesday 9th April
2.07am
Martha sick all over bed. I am most disturbed as I am noticing something not right about her.
2.19am
Phone up damn Vet but No reply.
3.33am
Vet most unhappy at me knocking on his door and he is shouting many nswear words… I am explaining I got a feeling Martha is not same cat, she has a fake whiskers! Vet threatening to be shooting me next time he is seeing me.
This is reminding me of exactly what Paul McCartney is saying to me last time I am shoving camera in his face so yes a link is most established! I will be exposing Vet in my next video!
5.17am
Martha… correction… Fartha… is most sick again.
12.12pm
Back in West Indies. No sign of McCartney and his new hot tottie. He is Nowhere man!
2.53pm
Where are you McCartney? If I am having to be Here, there and everywhere chasing you across the universe, I am not resting until I’ll get you!
4.06pm
Not very happy to be thinking when I get home without new filming of McCartney shouting at me, but I am flying because I am only needing 3,000 more air miles to be claiming my free cool cats!
8.13pm
Message from Mike, ‘We are all looking forward to the interview tomorrow’
He is a good boy is Mike… I wish I could be remembering whether he is supposed to be interviewing me or I am supposed to be interviewing him.
I am replying ‘You won’t see me’ only… hehe… I reply in Braille! I am very smart like that!
9.12pm
At the airport and again I am thinking I am forgetting something…
11.09pm
Oh shoot! I left my luggage behind some bush in Santa Susana pass… I am hoping nobody has taken it!
**
