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Post by hotman637 on Dec 4, 2014 12:28:23 GMT -5
hotman637 wrote: If that is supposed to be an insult you will have to do better than that!-----------------BZZZT!I'm sorry hotman, but your backtalk to the goddess will cost you five points! Try again, showing Lovely Rita the proper reverence. What can I say I am a BAD DEVIL! Men are BAD woman are GOOD! Maybe that is why she did not properly insult me! Anyhow Rita will have to get on here and tell me what she wants. The universe is a BATTLE OF THE SEXES!
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Post by LOVELYRITA on Dec 13, 2014 21:36:59 GMT -5
On a tiny island off the coast of Idaho is inhabited by a strange people called Moronians. Not only are they "strange", but they haven't even been mentioned on any maps. Regardless, they worship a god called Merph. Merph was belched out of a volcano and landed in the yard of a pig farmer named Igla Bamboozled. So with this pod in the front yard, Igla decided to wait to see what hatched, and Merph came out of this pod on what was about December 25th. But it wasn't enough to just have one day to celebrate their Barf God of Volcano, or what the Moronians call "Merphmas", they have a 12 day festival that all of the village come on the 24th or Merph-eve. They have a dance of the 12 Ugliest Virgins, who attempt to find husbands , so you could say it is a fertility dance. About 6 that evening, they all have what is called "The Feast of Beans" in which a huge caldron of beans sits afire in the middle of town, actually where they think Merph fell to earth and the 12 ugly virgins get the biggest bowls of "beans". Then the most eligible idiots of the village are forced to choose from the 12 ugly virgins for brides....well, they are at the feast and, by midnight, if any of the 12 ugly virgins pass gas, that makes them "fertile" and so the village idiots can pick from the ugly virgins who farted. If they fart, it will mean there will be a good year. If they don't pass gas by midnight, it means the next year will be bad.
By the way, on this island, there is no devil, no evil...just alot of bean eaters at December 25th, and perhaps the passing of gas... in a land filled with ugly virgins, village idiots and Beans....did I mention beans...by the way, is an aphrodesiac there....
Oh, in the land where beans rule....even ugly virgins begin to look good and where village idiots can have his pick for future brides.....Now there's paradise....
Oh, and the song that the 12 Ugly Virgins dance to is called "If She Farts on The First Date, She's A Keeper!"....played on ukeleles and kazoos...by the parents of proposed virgins and idiots...it's a family thing...
They put up fake beanstalks and decorate them with moth balls....they light candles under baskets, they walk backwards, and they also enjoy yodeling at midnight when the moon is full.
Aaaahhh to be a Moronian.....
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Post by LOVELYRITA on Dec 13, 2014 21:40:08 GMT -5
Battle of sexes.....no, it was never a battle, men lost it right from the "get go".....Adam was so busy naming the animals and left Eve alone when the serpent came and deceived her....so when Adam came home from naming the animals, Eve said, "here, eat this fruit"...it's all about the hungry man....
Even Esau....lost his birthright because he was so hungry that he gave it up for a bowl of stew...so guess what, Jacob took it....
Must be something to the "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"....
Sorry, you asked for it.
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Post by hotman637 on Dec 14, 2014 18:04:41 GMT -5
Battle of sexes.....no, it was never a battle, men lost it right from the "get go".....Adam was so busy naming the animals and left Eve alone when the serpent came and deceived her....so when Adam came home from naming the animals, Eve said, "here, eat this fruit"...it's all about the hungry man.... Even Esau....lost his birthright because he was so hungry that he gave it up for a bowl of stew...so guess what, Jacob took it.... Must be something to the "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach".... Sorry, you asked for it. You are correct men WILL LOSE! The quicker they surrender and say "God is a woman and the Devil is a man" the less time we waste!
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Post by LOVELYRITA on Dec 14, 2014 21:30:26 GMT -5
If men have the idea of the above mentioned statement, yes, they indeed lost...but it's not about the battle of the sexes, but regarding one's soul.
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Post by hotman637 on Dec 16, 2014 14:54:52 GMT -5
If men have the idea of the above mentioned statement, yes, they indeed lost...but it's not about the battle of the sexes, but regarding one's soul. Yes, it is a battle for our soul between God and the Devil. At least that is what the Bible indicates. The problem is when both God and Devil is a man then how can we tell them apart? People say God is "good" and the Devil is "bad" but who decides which is which? God does plenty of things in the Bible people would say is bad! Theologians have been arguing about this stuff for thousands of years and they STILL don't have an answer! BUT when I say "God is a woman and the Devil is a man" then the whole universe MAKES SENSE (IMO)! A woman (God) creates preserves and can destroy the universe. A man (the Devil) OPPOSES HER (Satan means "the opposer"). Simple!
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Post by hotman637 on Jun 22, 2015 12:10:31 GMT -5
I am starting a new religion with only THREE RULES!
#1 God is a woman! #2 The earth is flat! #3 Hell is denial!
Just about EVERYBODY else says God is a man (or there is no God same thing) and the earth is ball spinning 1000 miles an hour (impossible or we would fly into space or be crushed by gravity) and Hell is desire (if Hell is desire than why exist?).
So the choice is clear which will it be?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2015 23:36:48 GMT -5
I am starting a new religion with only THREE RULES! #1 God is a woman! #2 The earth is flat! #3 Hell is denial!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2015 23:57:02 GMT -5
IMAGINE (all caps) accepting the truth
lol
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Post by hotman637 on Jun 24, 2015 11:47:47 GMT -5
I am starting a new religion with only THREE RULES! #1 God is a woman! #2 The earth is flat! #3 Hell is denial! I have been starting a new religion where God is a woman! I am looking for a woman to be God. Anyone interested? I am in Vancouver BC Canada.
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Post by hotman637 on Dec 15, 2015 22:50:29 GMT -5
If men have the idea of the above mentioned statement, yes, they indeed lost...but it's not about the battle of the sexes, but regarding one's soul. Yes, it is a battle for our soul between God and the Devil. At least that is what the Bible indicates. The problem is when both God and Devil is a man then how can we tell them apart? People say God is "good" and the Devil is "bad" but who decides which is which? God does plenty of things in the Bible people would say is bad! Theologians have been arguing about this stuff for thousands of years and they STILL don't have an answer! BUT when I say "God is a woman and the Devil is a man" then the whole universe MAKES SENSE (IMO)! A woman (God) creates preserves and can destroy the universe. A man (the Devil) OPPOSES HER (Satan means "the opposer"). Simple! A simpler way of putting it is "God is a naked woman playing chess with the Devil!" She is the "Queen" and sacrificed a "pawn" (Jesus)! The "board" is the FLAT EARTH! Interesting situation.
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Post by beatlas231 on Dec 16, 2015 17:26:05 GMT -5
Yes, it is a battle for our soul between God and the Devil. At least that is what the Bible indicates. The problem is when both God and Devil is a man then how can we tell them apart? People say God is "good" and the Devil is "bad" but who decides which is which? God does plenty of things in the Bible people would say is bad! Theologians have been arguing about this stuff for thousands of years and they STILL don't have an answer! BUT when I say "God is a woman and the Devil is a man" then the whole universe MAKES SENSE (IMO)! A woman (God) creates preserves and can destroy the universe. A man (the Devil) OPPOSES HER (Satan means "the opposer"). Simple! A simpler way of putting it is "God is a naked woman playing chess with the Devil!" She is the "Queen" and sacrificed a "pawn" (Jesus)! The "board" is the FLAT EARTH! Interesting situation. Yes but is she a hot naked woman?
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Post by hotman637 on Dec 16, 2015 20:20:24 GMT -5
A simpler way of putting it is "God is a naked woman playing chess with the Devil!" She is the "Queen" and sacrificed a "pawn" (Jesus)! The "board" is the FLAT EARTH! Interesting situation. Yes but is she a hot naked woman? Great question! Of course that is part of the conundrum! You will have to watch her AND the board! What does she want? Does she want you to win or lose or draw? What do you get if you win? What do you get if you lose? If you are looking at her tits and ass and get destracted what happens? What do you want? I find this "riddle" interesting because how you handle this situation shows what you want in life! God is a naked woman playing chess with the Devil!
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Post by B on Dec 17, 2015 12:24:55 GMT -5
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