Post by pennylane on Jul 25, 2005 8:54:56 GMT -5
Language warning...
the things u find when your bored.. ;D
In following with my 12 Steps program, my Doctor has informed me that I should apologize to every person I have ever hurt, in my 40+ years of drinking like a motherfucker. It seems like that would be one stupid waste of time to go hunting down all these indivisuals (valuable drinking time, moreless)... So out of respect for those affected during my journey to self-discovery, I shall make this formal address to finally extend my apologies. Ahem.
* I'm sorry for "Give My Regards To Broadstreet". Who would have ever known that wouldn't work out as well as planned?
* I'm sorry for ever doing that music video, "Say Say Say" with Michael Jackson. I honestly have no idea what came over me. Oh wait, that's right... I believe his name was Jack Daniels.
* Speaking of which, I'm sorry I sold the copyrights of every Beatle song to Michael Jackson.
* I'm sorry that my famous name (and astounding good looks) have somehow benefitted Stella in her treacherous fashion designs.
* I'm sorry I ate that steak last Christmas.
* I'm sorry Yoko is such a sour bitch.
* I'm sorry I forgot about those 500 lost Beatle tapes. Dammit.
* I'm sorry for those 186 face lifts I've gotten over the last few years. I didn't realize I was beginning to look like a wet bag, with safety pins, securing my skin.
* I'm sorry my son, James turned out to be kinda fat.
* I'm sorry for the entire McCartney II album.
* I'm sorry for ever publishing that book of paintings.
* I'm sorry I sued the other Beatles, after we broke up. Hahaha...yeah, I was kinda going through my Angry Paul stage back then. Sorry.
* I'm sorry for ever sporting that atrocious mullet back in the mid-'70s.
* I'm sorry I stopped washing my hair, during that period too.
* I'm sorry Jane was such a hard-headed bitch and wouldn't let me have affairs. Go bake me a cake, woman.
* I'm sorry my American tour tickets cost so much. I didn't realize they were charging that much until AFTER I went out, and bought that Bently. My apologies.
* I'm sorry I couldn't get a neck or hand lift. Evidently, those are the only areas on your body that can't be cosmetically surgerized. Shit.
* I'm sorry John made that "Bigger than Jesus" comment back in '66. Way to go, John.
* I'm sorry there's no I in team, because if there was, it'd be spelled teim. And I just couldn't live with that.
* I'm sorry I never wrote a tribute song to George, after he died. Or maybe I did? I forget sometimes...
* I'm sorry I laugh at Heather and her crippled friends. Something about prosthetics make me giggle.
* I'm sorry for the whole "Yesterday" story-telling time. Every time I told the story of how it originated, it always felt like the first time.
* I'm sorry I keep forgetting to cut my toenails.
* I'm sorry for that lame ass excuse for taking LSD, and how it didn't influence others to do so.
* I'm sorry I keep re-releasing the same damn songs, in the form of a "new" tour album.
* I'm sorry I bought that book about explosive orgams, right there where a reporter could see me. Apparently sandwiching the book between Heather's childrens books didn't help either.
* I'm sorry I can't spel very gud.
* I'm sorry for investing so much money to benefit others, and not enough on myself. Oh wait...
* I'm sorry everyone thought the Fool on the Hill was me...
* And last but certainly not least...I'm sorry to all those women in the '60s I sexed up just a little bit. Hope you didn't catch anything contageous.
the things u find when your bored.. ;D
In following with my 12 Steps program, my Doctor has informed me that I should apologize to every person I have ever hurt, in my 40+ years of drinking like a motherfucker. It seems like that would be one stupid waste of time to go hunting down all these indivisuals (valuable drinking time, moreless)... So out of respect for those affected during my journey to self-discovery, I shall make this formal address to finally extend my apologies. Ahem.
* I'm sorry for "Give My Regards To Broadstreet". Who would have ever known that wouldn't work out as well as planned?
* I'm sorry for ever doing that music video, "Say Say Say" with Michael Jackson. I honestly have no idea what came over me. Oh wait, that's right... I believe his name was Jack Daniels.
* Speaking of which, I'm sorry I sold the copyrights of every Beatle song to Michael Jackson.
* I'm sorry that my famous name (and astounding good looks) have somehow benefitted Stella in her treacherous fashion designs.
* I'm sorry I ate that steak last Christmas.
* I'm sorry Yoko is such a sour bitch.
* I'm sorry I forgot about those 500 lost Beatle tapes. Dammit.
* I'm sorry for those 186 face lifts I've gotten over the last few years. I didn't realize I was beginning to look like a wet bag, with safety pins, securing my skin.
* I'm sorry my son, James turned out to be kinda fat.
* I'm sorry for the entire McCartney II album.
* I'm sorry for ever publishing that book of paintings.
* I'm sorry I sued the other Beatles, after we broke up. Hahaha...yeah, I was kinda going through my Angry Paul stage back then. Sorry.
* I'm sorry for ever sporting that atrocious mullet back in the mid-'70s.
* I'm sorry I stopped washing my hair, during that period too.
* I'm sorry Jane was such a hard-headed bitch and wouldn't let me have affairs. Go bake me a cake, woman.
* I'm sorry my American tour tickets cost so much. I didn't realize they were charging that much until AFTER I went out, and bought that Bently. My apologies.
* I'm sorry I couldn't get a neck or hand lift. Evidently, those are the only areas on your body that can't be cosmetically surgerized. Shit.
* I'm sorry John made that "Bigger than Jesus" comment back in '66. Way to go, John.
* I'm sorry there's no I in team, because if there was, it'd be spelled teim. And I just couldn't live with that.
* I'm sorry I never wrote a tribute song to George, after he died. Or maybe I did? I forget sometimes...
* I'm sorry I laugh at Heather and her crippled friends. Something about prosthetics make me giggle.
* I'm sorry for the whole "Yesterday" story-telling time. Every time I told the story of how it originated, it always felt like the first time.
* I'm sorry I keep forgetting to cut my toenails.
* I'm sorry for that lame ass excuse for taking LSD, and how it didn't influence others to do so.
* I'm sorry I keep re-releasing the same damn songs, in the form of a "new" tour album.
* I'm sorry I bought that book about explosive orgams, right there where a reporter could see me. Apparently sandwiching the book between Heather's childrens books didn't help either.
* I'm sorry I can't spel very gud.
* I'm sorry for investing so much money to benefit others, and not enough on myself. Oh wait...
* I'm sorry everyone thought the Fool on the Hill was me...
* And last but certainly not least...I'm sorry to all those women in the '60s I sexed up just a little bit. Hope you didn't catch anything contageous.
