And Now..Miss TV Critic...

[missvagabond]

I hate television! No really, I do. I was thinking about something XPT626 said on a thread today. Contemporary tv, or whatever is really beyond me. I just totally don't get it!

I've never understood why people are so obsessed with watching tv so much. A lot of my friends watched...ummmm.. Friends. Friends was about 6 weird adults acting like dorky immature adults and living in $5000.00 a month Manhattan apartments while making minimum wage. That's pretty clever. It's also pretty unlikely. A lot of Sitcoms that I've seen aren't that funny in general. They're predictable and are a great cure for insomnia, for those who suffer from that sort of thing.

I've seen Scrubs a few times. That was funny. So it's an exception. The Simpsons was really funny for a while until they exhausted all the cliches in modern-day pop culture. Now there are none left for them to make fun of. So it's no longer funny, I don't think. So I stopped watching the show and bought Nancy Cartright's (She plays the voice of Bart) "My Life As An 8 Year Old Boy". Now, that was funny! BWAHAHAHAHA!! She's a very gifted and FUNNY actress who has a real talent for doing voice-overs. But the Simpsons really sucks now, IMHO.

Reality shows are not funny. They're actually really mean and disgusting for the most part. Who want's to watch people suffer and manipulate each other? If I want to see people suffer, I'll watch a VH1 showing of Celine Dion's "Live from Las Vegas" at the "Octave Smasher" Cabaret Room. I watched Big Brother for a little while. The idea was to vote people out of the house one by one. It seemed like the people in the house spent an awful lot of their time watching tv. Why would I want to watch a tv show where people are on tv and watching tv?! So what shows were they watching while they were watching tv on that tv show? Anybody? Anyone? That's right!! They were watching the previous weeks episode of Big Brother. I guess that would be alright if people watching at home missed the show the week before. I thought that was just mind-numbingly dumb, if you ask me.

Survivor was about pretty much the same thing. Voting people out. Except there was no cable tv for anybody to watch old episodes of Survivor on. Actually, there wasn't much of anything for Survivor contestants to do except find ways to drive each other up the wall. But first, they had to build the wall. The person who did most of the work building the wall that they would use to drive each other insane; usually got voted off as soon as the wall was built. Then they'd celebrate by eating worms and swearing at each other, until the mosquitoes complained about the noise they were making, and drove them all to the other side of the Island.

Okay, not all tv is bad. Ren and Stimpy was a wonderful little show. It was hard not to cheer for them week in and week out. A real classic tv show. Unlike Smallville. That show was really good for about a month before it went all stupid. Some of the acting was actually pretty good. But the plots just got unbelievabley silly. In one episode, Clark Kent battles an teenage girl with super "Powers of persuasion". Yet, halfway through the show, you can see her doing her homework and helping out with the chores at home..umm, duh! What?! Were her parents and teachers invulnerable to her "Super Persuasion" or something? Why not use it on them, and then spend the day shopping? Whatever!

Okay. So the thing I hate most about tv is basically most of the programming. Also, the reruns. About the only good thing I've seen recently are concerts (Live 8, Concert For George) and some documentary about how dogs are smarter than cats, cats are smarter than mice, but Britney Spears is married to an unemployed leech who gets an allowance from her, and apparently likes to watch a lot of tv...

And finally, I'd just rather listen to music, (Not Britney) read, or go online here at NIR and complain ad nausium about how much tv sucks. As opposed to actually watching it.

Now that's "time well wasted"....

Btw, I'm listening to George Harrison's "My Sweet Lord" right now. I wonder if George thought tv sucked gargantuous mountains of gooberish upchuckness...

**** Vomits Profusely ****

[xpt626]

as always, Miss V...

[glow=red,2,300]A MASTERPIECE![/glow]

;D

thanks for the chuckles ;D

[missvagabond]

***Curtsies*** Thanks, XPT626. ;D

[Valis]

Ren and Stimpy is classic, just like Spongebob...there is even a very revealing Hofner bass/JP connection in the Spongebob Movie.

But here is my response to TV...a song played by U2 as a warmup at their ZOOTV concerts in 93.

"Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy - Television, The Drug Of The Nation Lyrics

One nation
under God
has turned into
one nation under the influence
of one drug
[chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)
T.V., it
satellite links
our United States of Unconsciousness
Apathetic therapeutic and extremely addictive
The methadone metronome pumping out
150 channels 24 hours a day
you can flip through all of them
and still there's nothing worth watching
T.V. is the reason why less than 10 per cent of our
Nation reads books daily
Why most people think Central Amerika
means Kansas
Socialism means unamerican
and Apartheid is a new headache remedy
absorbed in it's world it's so hard to find us
It shapes our mind the most
maybe the mother of our Nation
should remind us
that we're sitting too close to...
[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)
T.V. is
the stomping ground for political candidates
Where bears in the woods
are chased by Grecian Formula'd
bald eagles
T.V. is mechanized politic's
remote control over the masses
co-sponsored by environmentally safe gases
watch for the PBS special
It's the perpetuation of the two party system
where image takes precedence over wisdom
Where sound bite politics are served to
the fastfood culture
Where straight teeth in your mouth
are more important than the words
that come out of it
Race baiting is the way to get selected
Willie Horton or
Will he not get elected on...
[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)
T.V., is it the reflector or the director ?
Does it imitate us
or do we imitate it

because a child watches 1500 murders before he's
twelve years old and we wonder why we've created
a Jason generation that learns to laugh
rather than to abhor the horror
T.V. is the place where
armchair generals and quarterbacks can
experience first hand
the excitement of warfare
as the theme song is sung in the background
Sugar sweet sitcoms
that leave us with a bad actor taste while
pop stars metamorphosize into soda pop stars
You saw the video
You heard the soundtrack
Well now go buy the soft drink
Well, the onla cola that I support
would be a union C.O.L.A.(Cost Of Living Allowance)
On television
[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)
Back again, 'New and improved'
We return to our irregularly programmed schedule
hidden cleverly between heavy breasted
beer and car commercials
CNNESPNABCTNT but mostly B.S.
Where oxymoronic language like
'virtually spotless', 'fresh frozen'
'light yet filling' and 'military intelligence'
have become standard
T.V. is the place where phrases are redefined
like 'recession' to 'necessary downturn'
'Crude oil' on a beach to 'mousse'
'Civilian death' to 'collateral damages'
and being killed by your own Army
is now called 'friendly fire'
T.V. is the place where the pursuit
of happiness has become the pursuit of
trivia
Where toothpaste and cars have become
sex objects
Where imagination is sucked out of children
by a cathode ray nipple
T.V. is the only wet nurse
that would create a cripple
[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(4x)"

[Valis]

you got me on a roll with mentioning TV, here is one by Maryilin Manson called "Rock is dead" it is also in the endtitles of "The Matrix" after the Rage against the Machine song where Neo takes to the sky from the phonebooth.

MARILYN MANSON - ROCK IS DEAD

All simple monkeys with alien babies
Amphetamines for boys
Crucifixes for ladies
Sampled and soulless
Worldwide and real webbed
You sell all the living
For more safer dead

Anything to belong

Rock is deader than dead
Shock is all in your head
Your sex and your dope is all that we’re fed
So fuck all your protests and
Put them to bed

God is in the t.v.

1,000 mothers are praying for it
We’re so full of hope
And so full of shit
Build a new god
To medicate and to ape
Sell us ersatz
Dressed up and real fake

Anything to belong

Rock is deader than dead
Shock is all in your head
Your sex and your dope is all that we’re fed
So fuck all your protests and
Put them to bed

God is in the t.v.


RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE - WAKE UP

Come on!
Uggh!
Come on, although ya try to discredit
Ya still never edit
The needle, I’ll thread it
Radically poetic
Standin’ with the fury that they had in ’66
And like e-double I’m mad
Still knee-deep in the system’s shit
Hoover, he was a body remover
I’ll give ya a dose
But it’ll never come close
To the rage built up inside of me
Fist in the air, in the land of hypocrisy

Movements come and movements go
Leaders speak, movements cease
When their heads are flown
’cause all these punks
Got bullets in their heads
Departments of police, the judges, the feds
Networks at work, keepin’ people calm
You know they went after king
When he spoke out on vietnam
He turned the power to the have-nots
And then came the shot

Yeah!

Yeah, back in this...
Wit’ poetry, my mind I flex
Flip like wilson, vocals never lackin’ dat finesse
Whadda I got to, whadda I got to do to wake ya up
To shake ya up, to break the structure up
’cause blood still flows in the gutter
I’m like takin’ photos
Mad boy kicks open the shutter
Set the groove
Then stick and move like I was cassius
Rep the stutter step
Then bomb a left upon the fascists
Yea, the several federal men
Who pulled schemes on the dream
And put it to an end

Ya better beware
Of retribution with mind war
20/20 visions and murals with metaphors

Networks at work, keepin’ people calm
Ya know they murdered x
And tried to blame it on islam
He turned the power to the have-nots
And then came the shot

Uggh!
What was the price on his head?
What was the price on his head!

I think I heard a shot (5 times)
I think I heard, I think I heard a shot

Background: ’black nationalism’
’he may be a real contender for this position should he
Abandon his supposed obediance to white liberal doctrine
Of non-violence...and embrace black nationalism’
’through counter-intelligence it should be possible to
Pinpoint potential trouble-makers...’
’and neutralise them’

Wake up! wake up! wake up! wake up!
Wake up! wake up! wake up! wake up!

Spoken: ’how long? not long, ’cause
What you reap is what you sow.’

Oh my god Valis is in quite a mood today lol

[JoJo]

Heh! All those shows you mentioned, I never got it either, what little I know about Survivor I learned from morning DJ's talking endlessly about it, instead of playing music. I don't watch much anymore, a little bit of the news shows at night, and some TV Land era stuff, from back when they knew how to make a good sitcom, like "Barney Miller". Sitcoms like Friends are a yawnfest and at the same time grating on the nerves. And btw, and I may offend someone, I NEVER got Seinfeld, and why so many people revere that show. Someone at work was going on about it the other day, and how he misses it, and all I could do was nod my head, uh huh, yeah, great...

You're probably right about The Simpsons, it surely jumped the shark by now. I still watch it though, probably the only present day half hour comedy I still watch. Then there's the HBO stuff when it's in season, like The Sopranos and that very weird show "Carnival", still don't know quite what they were trying to say with that one, but I found it facinating.

All the rest? Nah, no thanks, I find the web far more entertaining, and what we talk about here more "real" than any "reality" show. Although, if Sir Paul and Heather made an "Osbornes" type reality show, I am so there, haha! ;D

I used to watch Ren and Stimpy, but early on, the original creator was replaced, (uh oh) and some complained that it wasn't quite the same anymore, I dunno really.

The common themes on most shows today is that people are as dumb as a box of rocks, have trouble controlling the simplest inappropriate impulse, and then have no idea why their life is so miserable.. Oh, and being annoying is a virtue.

[eyesbleed]

missvagabond said:

And finally, I'd just rather listen to music, (Not Britney) read, or go online here at NIR and complain ad nausium about how much tv sucks. As opposed to actually watching it.

Now that's "time well wasted"....

Right on sister! ;D

A lot of my friends find it kinda weird that I'm almost always listening to music & miss ALL primetime network stuff. I've never watched even one episode of any primetime shows.... sitcoms or that damn "reality" tv.
I can't relate to any of that stuff... on any level. Maybe I should go back to the planet I came from, but I'm not sure where that is!

The TV I do watch is mostly on TV Land. Now there's some of what I call sitcoms! Green Acres, Mr.Ed. Andy Griffith, Beaver, & of course The Adams family & The Munsters..... OH YA... & Mary Hartman/Fernwood 2Nite!

I still watch a little fake news each day, but the news media is really starting to piss me off, so my news watchin' is tapering off. Alternate sources are better.
I'm currently tryin' to break my decades old habit of watchin' the 5:30 NBC news.... I think I'm about halfway there.!

Oh ya... ditto on the Ren & Stimpy! I gotta get the dvd's


And it's been decades since I went to a new movie at the theater. Not interested for the same reasons.
That young'un o'mine thinks I'm really weird coz I never watch any new movies, but she will catch me watchin' an MST3K dvd, or some cheesy old HG Lewis gore film from the 60's. She doesn't get old cheese at all... on any level.. Just like I don't get the current TV shows I guess!
She quit askin' me if I'd seen this movie or that movie several years ago.... But I am all caught up & have all the MST3K dvd's released so far.... now THATS important !

My new thing does involve the tv tho.... concert dvd's & the occational music vid dvd. In fact I just got a new Residents dvd today so that's where I'm headed next!
These things are wonderful.... great sound & cool visuals. Lets see I've recently got Brian Wilsons Smile, the new T.Rex 2 disc concert&movie release, the new Sparks live, Superjoint Ritual at CBGB's, Korn at CBGB's (HEAVY!), One Giant Leap(deserves a thread all it's own),Pixies live, etc etc.

If I'm glued to the TV, it's usually coz I'm mezmerized by some concert.

[missvagabond]

I've never seen those words by U2 before, Valis. That's so unbelievably true. I personally haven't thought of all those specific points as the reason I really avoid it, but a lot of them make sense to me. I just have a kind of natural mistrust of all the garbage on tv itself. I know that there are some good programs - they're not ALL bad. But I think tv in general can be really overwhelmingly dum. There's just too much on and not enough of it really means anything important. A lot of it is just pretty empty-headed and gross!

A "Drug" is a good metaphor. It's very accurate, I think.

thanks for posting that.

[missvagabond]

eyesbleed said:

missvagabond said:

And finally, I'd just rather listen to music, (Not Britney) read, or go online here at NIR and complain ad nausium about how much tv sucks. As opposed to actually watching it.

Now that's "time well wasted"....

Right on sister! ;D

A lot of my friends find it kinda weird that I'm almost always listening to music & miss ALL primetime network stuff. I've never watched even one episode of any primetime shows.... sitcoms or that damn "reality" tv.
I can't relate to any of that stuff... on any level. Maybe I should go back to the planet I came from, but I'm not sure where that is!

LOL. ;D I can live without most of those shows. all of them actually. But I read about them sometimes. Then I make fun of them.

The TV I do watch is mostly on TV Land. Now there's some of what I call sitcoms! Green Acres, Mr.Ed. Andy Griffith, Beaver, & of course The Adams family & The Munsters..... OH YA... & Mary Hartman/Fernwood 2Nite!

Umm, I don't know all of those shows. I've heard of the Munsters. I didn't know the Green Acres book was made into a tv show, though.

I still watch a little fake news each day, but the news media is really starting to piss me off, so my news watchin' is tapering off. Alternate sources are better.
I'm currently tryin' to break my decades old habit of watchin' the 5:30 NBC news.... I think I'm about halfway there.!

Oh ya... ditto on the Ren & Stimpy! I gotta get the dvd's


And it's been decades since I went to a new movie at the theater. Not interested for the same reasons.
That young'un o'mine thinks I'm really weird coz I never watch any new movies, but she will catch me watchin' an MST3K dvd, or some cheesy old HG Lewis gore film from the 60's. She doesn't get old cheese at all... on any level.. Just like I don't get the current TV shows I guess!
She quit askin' me if I'd seen this movie or that movie several years ago.... But I am all caught up & have all the MST3K dvd's released so far.... now THATS important !

My new thing does involve the tv tho.... concert dvd's & the occational music vid dvd. In fact I just got a new Residents dvd today so that's where I'm headed next!
These things are wonderful.... great sound & cool visuals. Lets see I've recently got Brian Wilsons Smile, the new T.Rex 2 disc concert&movie release, the new Sparks live, Superjoint Ritual at CBGB's, Korn at CBGB's (HEAVY!), One Giant Leap(deserves a thread all it's own),Pixies live, etc etc.

If I'm glued to the TV, it's usually coz I'm mezmerized by some concert.

I think you've got great taste in music. But you don't want to miss out on going to a movie every now and then...or do you?! Try a Johnny Depp flick. He only makes good ones. ;D

And I'm the same way with concerts as well, btw. I love watching those.

[missvagabond]

jojo said:

Although, if Sir Paul and Heather made an "Osbornes" type reality show, I am so there, haha! ;D

Heather: "Bill, would you pass me the... OOOPPS!"

Director: "CUT!"

I used to watch Ren and Stimpy, but early on, the original creator was replaced, (uh oh) and some complained that it wasn't quite the same anymore, I dunno really.

LOL. ;D

Anyways, I think you make some really good points. People say if you don't like what you see on a certain station, you should "Just change the channel".

I think the "Off" button is the better option.

[Valis]

U2 used that recording of "the Disposable Heroes of Hipocrisy" every night just before going on stage during the 92/93 tour, as far as I know The Disposable Heroes were even support act on some of the US dates.
That whole tour was so loaded with relevant symbolism , the videoscreens continually broadcasted slogans like "everything you know is wrong"and "It's your world you can change it".

The show was thought out mostly by Brian Eno !!!!
U2 also used the concept of doubles very consciously.
I have a VHS from 92 where a fake U2 (the Doppelgangers, a big hit at fanconventions) played at the most important Irish TV late talkshow...halfway the performance a U2 roadie comes in screaming "that's not the real band" the following close ups show that they don't look like U2 .
The camera pans to the audience and the "real"members of U2 are just sitting in the top row of the studioaudience.

A while ago Jojo also put up some shots from U2's very suspicious 92 video "Even better than the real thing", there is so much more in that vid.

I also get more and more the feeling that something strange happened to Bono between 89-90

All Love Jan

[missvagabond]

valis said:

U2 used that recording of "the Disposable Heroes of Hipocrisy" every night just before going on stage during the 92/93 tour, as far as I know The Disposable Heroes were even support act on some of the US dates.
That whole tour was so loaded with relevant symbolism , the videoscreens continually broadcasted slogans like "everything you know is wrong"and "It's your world you can change it".

The show was thought out mostly by Brian Eno !!!!
U2 also used the conceopt of doubles very consciously.
I have a VHS from 92 where a fake U2 (the Doppelgangers, a big hit at fanconventions) played at the most important Irish TV late talkshow...halfway the performance a U2 roadie comes in screaming "that's not the real band" the following clos ups show that they don't look like U2 .
The camera pans to the audience and the "real"members of U2 are just sitting in the top row of the studioaudience.

A while ago Jojo also put up some shots from U2's very suspicious 92 video "Even better than the real thing", there is so much more in that vid.

I also get more and more the feeling that something strange happened to Bono between 89-90

All Love Jan

That's amazing. I should look all that up if I can. I didn't realise that U2 were that serious about making a statement while on tour. But then again, that was a long time ago. I don't think I even knew about them at all then because I would've been too young. I've heard of that tour a bit, I just didn't know that much about it. the CD's really good too, though.

Bono, replaced?

Is that what their "Discotheque" CD was all about. I still don't understand why they recorded that. It doesn't sound like their style at all.

[Valis]

The piece I mention about the doppelgangers on the Irish TV show is part of an internationally broadcasted half live/prerecorded show on November 28 1992.

It should not be too hard to get if you know the networks.

It is definitely the best piece of U2 I have on film

All Love Jan

[eyesbleed]

missvagabond said:

Umm, I don't know all of those shows. I've heard of the Munsters. I didn't know the Green Acres book was made into a tv show, though.

I guess that's because they're a little before yer time!
I'm old enough that I can remember the decade of the 60's very well, so there's a certain amount of nostalgia & memory at work here also.
Oh man! Green Acres is (imo) the best sitcom ever.!
The best nonsense-double-talk scripts ever written.
Eve Gabor & Eddie Albert, & Arnold the pig & a cast of tripped out rural/smalltown characters.
I never get tired of Green Acres.

missvagabond said:

I think you've got great taste in music. But you don't want to miss out on going to a movie every now and then...or do you?! Try a Johnny Depp flick. He only makes good ones. ;D

Sure I can miss out. No really I'd much rather spend that time & money (which I rarely have) on a new music dvd.... add a recliner & cold adult beverage or 3 & I'm good... better than I'd be in a crowded theater.
But yer correct about Depp... I do know that much about movies.... & I did get the vhs of the Ed Wood movie way back whenever that came out.
I'd probably enjoy the the new Chocolate factory, given the unlikely chance that I got around to watchin' it.

[missvagabond]

eyesbleed said:

missvagabond said:

Umm, I don't know all of those shows. I've heard of the Munsters. I didn't know the Green Acres book was made into a tv show, though.

I guess that's because they're a little before yer time!
I'm old enough that I can remember the decade of the 60's very well, so there's a certain amount of nostalgia & memory at work here also.
Oh man! Green Acres is (imo) the best sitcom ever.!
The best nonsense-double-talk scripts ever written.
Eve Gabor & Eddie Albert, & Arnold the pig & a cast of tripped out rural/smalltown characters.
I never get tired of Green Acres.

missvagabond said:

I think you've got great taste in music. But you don't want to miss out on going to a movie every now and then...or do you?! Try a Johnny Depp flick. He only makes good ones. ;D

Sure I can miss out. No really I'd much rather spend that time & money (which I rarely have) on a new music dvd.... add a recliner & cold adult beverage or 3 & I'm good... better than I'd be in a crowded theater.
But yer correct about Depp... I do know that much about movies.... & I did get the vhs of the Ed Wood movie way back whenever that came out.
I'd probably enjoy the the new Chocolate factory, given the unlikely chance that I got around to watchin' it.

Okay. I might've actually been thinking of "Anne Of Green Gables". I have heard people say that a lot of tv shows - dramas & sitcoms used to be a lot better. I've seen reruns of M.A.S.H. I didn't get it the first few times I saw it. But it's actually pretty good, I think.

If you get a chance, try to rent "Pirates Of The Caribbean". And I hear that Keith Richards (Inspiration for Johnny Depp's pirate role) is gonna be in one of the sequels.

[xpt626]

eyesbleed said:

...Eva Gabor & Eddie Albert, & Arnold the pig...I never get tired of Green Acres.

yep. I wanted to grow up to be Lisa.

I still have the Gabor eyeliner and "big hair" ;D

Eva Gabor's was the first celebrity voice I ever imitated. Five years old, walking around doing a Hungarian accent -- "ven my fathah vas a king..."

...about Depp...I did get the vhs of the Ed Wood movie

oh, I loved Ed Wood!! We have that one, too.

[Doc]

valis said:

Ren and Stimpy is classic, just like Spongebob...there is even a very revealing Hofner bass/JP connection in the Spongebob Movie.

But here is my response to TV...a song played by U2 as a warmup at their ZOOTV concerts in 93.

"Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy - Television, The Drug Of The Nation Lyrics

One nation
under God
has turned into
one nation under the influence
of one drug
[chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)
T.V., it
satellite links
our United States of Unconsciousness
Apathetic therapeutic and extremely addictive
The methadone metronome pumping out
150 channels 24 hours a day
you can flip through all of them
and still there's nothing worth watching
T.V. is the reason why less than 10 per cent of our
Nation reads books daily
Why most people think Central Amerika
means Kansas
Socialism means unamerican
and Apartheid is a new headache remedy
absorbed in it's world it's so hard to find us
It shapes our mind the most
maybe the mother of our Nation
should remind us
that we're sitting too close to...
[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)
T.V. is
the stomping ground for political candidates
Where bears in the woods
are chased by Grecian Formula'd
bald eagles
T.V. is mechanized politic's
remote control over the masses
co-sponsored by environmentally safe gases
watch for the PBS special
It's the perpetuation of the two party system
where image takes precedence over wisdom
Where sound bite politics are served to
the fastfood culture
Where straight teeth in your mouth
are more important than the words
that come out of it
Race baiting is the way to get selected
Willie Horton or
Will he not get elected on...
[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)
T.V., is it the reflector or the director ?
Does it imitate us
or do we imitate it

because a child watches 1500 murders before he's
twelve years old and we wonder why we've created
a Jason generation that learns to laugh
rather than to abhor the horror
T.V. is the place where
armchair generals and quarterbacks can
experience first hand
the excitement of warfare
as the theme song is sung in the background
Sugar sweet sitcoms
that leave us with a bad actor taste while
pop stars metamorphosize into soda pop stars
You saw the video
You heard the soundtrack
Well now go buy the soft drink
Well, the onla cola that I support
would be a union C.O.L.A.(Cost Of Living Allowance)
On television
[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)
Back again, 'New and improved'
We return to our irregularly programmed schedule
hidden cleverly between heavy breasted
beer and car commercials
CNNESPNABCTNT but mostly B.S.
Where oxymoronic language like
'virtually spotless', 'fresh frozen'
'light yet filling' and 'military intelligence'
have become standard
T.V. is the place where phrases are redefined
like 'recession' to 'necessary downturn'
'Crude oil' on a beach to 'mousse'
'Civilian death' to 'collateral damages'
and being killed by your own Army
is now called 'friendly fire'
T.V. is the place where the pursuit
of happiness has become the pursuit of
trivia
Where toothpaste and cars have become
sex objects
Where imagination is sucked out of children
by a cathode ray nipple
T.V. is the only wet nurse
that would create a cripple
[Chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(4x)"

ASTOUNDING. TRUE. PAINFUL. HONEST.

[Jai Guru Deva]

I'm not sure the Patty Duke is any kind of clue, but... The show ran from Sept. 18, 1963 to Aug. 1, 1966. Patty, of course, played Patty and Cathy Lane--cousins who were identical! Imagine that, identical cousins? Whoever thought up that premise was shear GENIUS! It's almost as good as the banana filled twinkie, but I digress...

What would have been really interesting if she had played a character named "Penny" in place of either "Patty" or "Cathy" (too bad that didn't happen). However, Patty Duke did star in a 1965 movie called "Billie" which had an english sheep dog (not sure about any PID connection, but might be worth a rent--if for nothing else--nostalgia purposes).

www.geocities.com/pattydukeg/pattyduke.html

[JoJo]

Just got through watching the worst movie I've seen in some time, the remake of "Bewitched". Hey I loved the old show, Elizabeth Montgomery was the best. Will Ferrell was completely over the top, and I wished they gave Michael Caine more lines, but anyway..

One line that was kinda funny, Ferrell says: "I'm playing Darrin on Bewitched, he was replaced by another guy, and NOBODY NOTICED! ;D

[ReallyReallyDead]

has anyone seen "Father Ted"? It playes on BBC America sometimes. It's my favorite show! It has the funniest writing!

Also, another great one is Monty Python's Flying Circus! ;D ;D ;D

[missvagabond]

jojo said:

One line that was kinda funny, Ferrell says: "I'm playing Darrin on Bewitched, he was replaced by another guy, and NOBODY NOTICED! ;D

That's funny...I could've sworn I've heard of that happening somewhere before.. ;D

[missvagabond]

reallyreallydead said:

has anyone seen "Father Ted"? It playes on BBC America sometimes. It's my favorite show! It has the funniest writing!

Also, another great one is Monty Python's Flying Circus! ;D ;D ;D

I've never heard of Father Ted. But I've seen some of Monty Python's movies on tv or DVD.

They're hilarious! ;D


I loved The Meaning Of Life. Actually, I've been wondering if there should be a thread about Monty Python clues. They did some songs in their movies. They spoofed the Beatles. And George did produce one of their films, right?!

Is it worth looking into?

[JoJo]

Hey I love Monty Python too, I remember going to school the next day after it aired and going through the show line by line with a friend who was also a Python insane fan. Which, according to one episode of The Simpsons, made us about as nerdy as you can get, lol. BBC America is great, and they have MP on demand, wow! ;D

Of course George was involved in The Life of Brian, providing financing when things looked grim for the movie going forward. Eric Idle was a Ruttle, and probably not many know this, but George once said that The Beatles were possesed by some sort of "madcap spirit" (I forget the exact wording) that moved to the Pythons once the Beatles were no more.

Watching the movies might be worth it, they are fun anyway, so why not?

[ReallyReallyDead]

My current favorite Python scetch scech "skit, spoof, or humorous vinette" is not any of the obvious ones (Spanish Inquisition, Dead Parrot, etc...) but...


"No Time To Lose Advice Centre"

for some reason, the combination of the phrase No Time To Lose written everyware and Eric Idle's hilarious expressions (especially with the funny mustache) makes it hilarious!

EDIT:

I almost forgot! The camelspoter!

CAMELSPOTTER(Idle): Once you've seen one yeti, you've seen them all!
INTERVIEWER(Cleese): And, have you seen them all?
CAMELSPOTTER: Well, I've seen one. A little one. A picture of a litt... I've heard about them.

(note, it may seem unfunny in writing, but you just have to see it in the episode "You're no fun anymore")