Post by Paul Bearer on Oct 17, 2007 17:33:02 GMT -5
Given to the writer by a female co-worker.
THE MAN RULES
At last a guy has taken the time to wright this all down.
We always hear "THE RULES" from the female side.
These are our rules.
Please note they are all numbered "1" for a purpose.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon, or the changing tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is BLACKMAIL.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one,
Subtile hints will not work.
Strong hints will not work.
Obvious hints will not work.
JUST SAY IT.
1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an arguement today. IN FACT, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one way makes you sad or angry, we ment it the other way.
1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. NOT BOTH. If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, say what you have to say during a commercial.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.
1. All men see in 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1.If we ask what is wrong, and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it just isn't worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, anything you wear looks fine....REALLY
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as hunting, fishing, or sports.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
BUT, did you know men don't mind that? It's like camping.
THE MAN RULES
At last a guy has taken the time to wright this all down.
We always hear "THE RULES" from the female side.
These are our rules.
Please note they are all numbered "1" for a purpose.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon, or the changing tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is BLACKMAIL.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one,
Subtile hints will not work.
Strong hints will not work.
Obvious hints will not work.
JUST SAY IT.
1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an arguement today. IN FACT, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one way makes you sad or angry, we ment it the other way.
1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. NOT BOTH. If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, say what you have to say during a commercial.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.
1. All men see in 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1.If we ask what is wrong, and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it just isn't worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, anything you wear looks fine....REALLY
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as hunting, fishing, or sports.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
BUT, did you know men don't mind that? It's like camping.