[#username] are you actually Macca trying to stir up trouble?
- Ya Got Trouble Lyrics
Harold "Fool on the" Hill sings to the townspeople:
Well, either you're closing your eyes
To a situation you do now wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a Paul fable in your community.
Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here on Proboards 4.
Why sure I'm a Bill Shears player,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I'm always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a mouse in my hand are golden.
Help! you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye.
Never take and try to give
An iron-clad leave to yourself
From a three-line Bill-iard post?
But just as I say,
It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score
In a Fine Line game,
I say that any boob kin take
A thread about Bill and then lock it.
And they call that troll.
The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-Day--
I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
Then Bailey's from a bottle.
An' the next thing ya know,
Your son is playin' for money
In a pinch-back suit.
And list'nin to some big out-a-town Jagger
Hearin' him tell about horse-race gamblin'.
Not a wholesome trottin' race, no!
But a race where they set down right on the horse!
Like to see some stuck-up jockey'boy
Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil?
Well, I should say.
Friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six posts on a thread.
Threads that mark the diff'rence
Between a gentlemen and a bum,
With a capital "B,"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for Paul!
And all week long your Proboards
Members be frittern away,
I say your posters be frittern!
Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
Dig it! Paul on a website,
Never mind gittin' Dandelions pulled
Or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded.
Never mind pumpin' any water
'Til your parents are caught with the Cistern empty
On a Saturday night and that's trouble,
Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' trouble.
I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers,
Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the pool
Hall window after school, look, folks!
Right here in Proboards 4,
Trouble with a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for Paul!
Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda parents.
I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they're postin' all over those sites?
They're tryin' out TKIN!, tryin' out the Funhouse,
Tryin' out Nothing is Real like internet Feends!
And braggin' all about
How they're gonna blow apart an urban tale with animated fades!
An mp3, they listen to a Paul song,
Log on to the site called M4E!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And Rag-time, shameless music
That'll grab your son and your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instinct!
Mass-Beatlemania!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground!
People:
Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in Proboards 4!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Paul,
That stands for Paul.
We've surely got trouble!
Right here ion Proboards 4,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the young ones moral on the net!
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Harold:
Mothers of Internet junkies!
Heed the warning before it's too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The moment your son log on the web,
Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?
Is he starting to memorize clues from Sgt.
Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like 'walrus?"
And 'he's a real nowhere man?"
Well, if so my friends,
Ya got trouble,
Right here on Proboards 4!
With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Paul.
We've surely got trouble!
Right here on Proboards 4!
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule!
Oh, we've got trouble.
We're in terrible, terrible trouble.
That site called Revolution 9 is a devil's tool!
Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
With a "T"! Gotta rhyme it with "P"!
And that stands for Paul!!!
