April Fool on the Hill

[SS]

Could have called it Bill on the Hill quite possibly. Anybody out there play a joke or have a joke played on them today? I've got nothing while I'm usually a great prankster. My real intention was to post some wild outrageous tall tale. My creative ability has chosen to take a holiday. ;D

[B]

Global Anomalies Linked to Large Hadron Collider

A rash of observed anomalies has rattled observers around the globe, as researchers feared that the bizarre behaviors could be linked to European Centre for Nuclear Research (CERN)'s operation of the Large Hadron Collider.

Click to see anomalies: www.pcmag.com/slideshow/0,1206,l=249744&a=249726,00.asp

In response, containment teams employed by the SCP Foundation have been deployed worldwide, as part of a global effort to seek out, examine, and quarantine the unexplained phenomena.

The containment efforts represent a coming-out party for the SCP, whose existence has been funded as an adjunct arm to Interpol, executives said. The team recently decommissioned several archives in an attempt to organize a global response.


CERN Director-General Rolf Heuer denied that the anomalous behaviors were linked to the operation of the LHC. The 10 billion Swiss franc experiment will continue to operate for years, attempting to recreate conditions similar to the Big Bang, thought to be the origin of our current universe and life therein.

"CERN research scientists performed extensive laboratory simulations before and even during the operation of the LHC," Heuer said in a statement issued Thursday. "We have no reason to believe that the LHC should be considered the root cause. Furthermore, it should be noted that every incident reported to date can be explained via known and understood scientific methodology."

CERN researchers issued the statement in response to der Spiegel's discovery that a slowly revolving chromatic vortex had been discovered a short distance from the LHC. Similar anomalies have since been reported from around the globe.

The U.S. State Department and FBI declined comment.

Dr. Isadora Chin, a spokeswoman for the SCP Foundation, said that several of the anomalies had been granted "Euclid" and even "Keter" status, the designation for life-threatening manifestations of unusual size or behavior, such as SCP-169. Several have already been relocated to an observation facility in Black Mesa, New Mexico, she said.

In an experiment, Dr. Chin said that the SCP had begun "crowdsourcing" its taxonomic and basic research operations, and had begun collecting file photos of recent anomalies both as an index and as an example for future discoveries.

The SCP said that images of the anomalies would be made available via Google, Microsoft's Bing search engine, plus preloaded content on the Apple iPad, Google Nexus One, and the Palm Pixi Plus. The images were made available to the publications that obtained an an Apple iPad for review, which included The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and USA Today.

www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2362161,00.asp

A suitcase was discovered nearby, which may or may not be related to the events.

[SS]

Great stuff! Some of those anomalies look like members of my family.